Amanda,

Thanks for taking the time to comment and I’m sorry that you found some of the threads here to be problematic. It’s 100% not my intention to contribute to the (sexist) stigmatization of fat or body shaming — as a daughter, a woman, and a mom, I know, see and feel the resounding negative effects these have every single day. I too desire to raise my children in a way that rejects the overall diet culture, but I also don’t think that the concept of healthful eating is mutually exclusive with body positivity. Obviously families are going to have differing ideals when it comes to food, and everyone’s approach is therefore going to be different. Based on the medical/anthropological research we conducted for this article, I felt there was/is reason to differentiate between highly processed and less processed foods for health purposes.

Mollie, We’re so glad you found something in here that resonates with you! And congrats — it really is so hard to sit back, I know. In response to your question, there are a couple of things I might say. One is just that a lot of families like to make sure there’s always something at every meal you know your child will eat, whether that’s a small side dish or a main dish — this way if they really don’t eat, you know it’s because they’re not hungry. Secondly, some experts recommend having some kind of “always yes” foods that kids can ask for if they don’t like what’s being served — the key if you go this route is to make sure it’s not necessarily a desirable food (the same idea as a time-out doesn’t have to be a punishment but it shouldn’t include anything special like screen time). I do this with my kids, and I love it because we have a set list of five things they know they can ask to have in addition to any meal (not all at once!): eggs, apple slices with peanut butter, hummus, nuts, and tofu. Having the list may seem a bit silly, but it helps with clarity for the kids, otherwise there is a lot of confusion around “why can I have X but not Y.” With the list, if they ask for something that’s on it, I always say yes. If it’s not on the list, I always say no, and there’s no question. (I should note that not everyone “approves” of this strategy, but there are many — myself included — who love it.)

Meghan, I would reiterate up front that I am not a dietician, but some ideas just based on experience and my research… 1. Make sure there’s always something she likes at every meal. You can even put a smaller amount in the serving bowl so it “runs out” quickly, and pair it with other new things. 2. Ask questions — when she says “it’s yucky,” ask her describe why or what she doesn’t like about it. (I’ve done this with my kids and actually learned a lot about their taste preferences, such as that my son doesn’t like slimy things. Good to know, if nothing else.) 3. For the select items, can you switch things up even a *tiny bit? For example, if it’s crackers or pasta (just going with classics here), could you try serving a different kind of cracker or different type of pasta noodle? Often this can help open the door to trying new things more broadly. Let us know how things are going!