Needless to say, I’ve been spending more time indoors than normal, and what better to do than pick up a new book?

Here are some of our recent favorites to consider adding to your list, and please do share your recommendations as well.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, V.E. Schwab

This time-bending story is speculative, lyrical, and oh-so-engrossing. A title that made it onto nearly every 2021 book list, Addie LaRue is brimming with adventure, immortality, loneliness, love, art, beauty, and cruelty. Prepare to be captivated.

This Is How It Always Is, Laurie Frankel

This story about a family raising four boys and a transgender child will crack your heart open — it features, funny, witty dialogue, relatable characters all around, and big emotions. An important and eye-opening book that I’ve personally recommended to everyone I know… and now to you.

Things You Would Know If You Grew Up Around Here, Nancy Wayson Dinan

This evocative book (reminiscent of Where the Crawdads Sing) about a young girl’s experience during a Texas storm and its aftermath is both compelling and beautifully crafted. With a cadence that reflects the swift ferocity of the storm as well as the languorous beauty of the landscape it ravished, this book is lush with naturalism and emotion.

Ariadne, Jennifer Saint

If you loved Circe and The Song of Achilles (), go ahead and do yourself a favor and get a copy of Ariadne. One of the recent releases in the “feminist retellings of classic mythology” titles, this will not disappoint. A page-turning book about the intertwined fates of two sisters, Ariadne is filled with dazzling prose, suspense, and power both quiet and resounding.

Malibu Rising, Taylor Jenkins Reid

The latest from the wonderful Taylor Jenkins Reid, Malibu Rising is a riveting dysfunctional family saga set in the 1980s — from fame to the everyday, intimate and quirky sibling dynamics to an annual blowout party, and with Reid’s characteristic dash of suspense, this exciting yet personal story screams of summer glory (aka — get your summer beach reach fix here).

Detransition, Baby, Torrey Peters

Detransition, Baby follows three women whose lives are turned upside down by an unintended pregnancy. A provocative, modern, highly acclaimed book about motherhood, womanhood, gender, and messy relationships, one reviewer exclaimed that it “updates and transcends the Sex and the City model, while fully delivering its many satisfactions.”

Carrying On, Brittany Clair

Yes, this is my book… and yes, I’m shamelessly self-promoting it! I wrote this book while I was pregnant with my second (partly because I’d read every other pregnancy book out there, hah). There are nine chapters, each of which is a deep dive into the history, science, and current advice regarding a different topic (morning sickness, obstetric ultrasound, birth plans, induction, etc.). It’s meant to be an open invitation to reconsider much of what we expect and assume about prenatal health and maternity care in this country.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Anthony Doerr

This book is a tapestry of different stories spanning from centuries past to the future — it’s transporting, mesmerizing, and ambitious. Critics are hailing it as a masterpiece that defies genre and “will leave you in awe.”

The Paper Palace, Miranda Cowley Heller

A love story set at a summer home in Cape Cod, this book is rich with secrets, sea breezes, and shadows. Described as “sultry,” “beguiling,” “nail-biting,” and “a fever dream of a novel” by book critics, this Reese’s Book Club Pick will draw you in like quicksand. (Note that this book contains depictions of trauma/assault.)

Somebody’s Daughter: A Memoir, Ashley C. Ford

This powerful memoir is as important as it is beautifully crafted: “Somebody’s Daughter steps into the world of growing up a poor Black girl in Indiana with a family fragmented by incarceration, exploring how isolating and complex such a childhood can be. As Ashley battles her body and her environment, she embarks on a powerful journey to find the threads between who she is and what she was born into, and the complicated familial love that often binds them.” (This book contains depictions of assault/trauma.)

Crossroads, Jonathan Franzen

Jonathan Franzen’s latest book is being heralded as his best: a “pleasure bomb of a novel… New prospects are what keep Crossroads so engrossing, each section expanding on and deepening the poignancy of what has come before… Few writers can take human contradiction and make it half as entertaining and intimate as Franzen does… A magnificent portrait of an American family on the brink of implosion… Crossroads is Act I of what’s bound to be an American classic.” ~Lauren Mechling, Vogue

Good Company, Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney

This character-driven story captures the vivid and mundane with respect to contemporary art, friendship, parenthood, and marriage. A book about what happens (and what doesn’t) when a secret comes to light, Good Company is a hopeful, warm, and meandering exploration of the highs and lows of middle age.

Lifespan: Why We Age — and Why We Don’t Have To, David Sinclair with Matthew LaPlante

A stunning book about the science of aging — and where it looks to be heading — Lifespan will change the way you look at… a lot. Covering topics ranging from cell biology to the mechanics of genetic degeneration and to how often to eat to supplements, this fun and provocative book is the perfect blend of anthropology, science, medicine, and self-help.

Matrix, Lauren Groff

OMG everyone is raving about this book — here’s how NPR describes it: “A radiant novel about the 12th-century poet and mystic Marie de France. . . Groff richly imagines Marie’s decades of exile in a royal convent, which she eventually leads. A charged novel about female ambition.”

Okay — I think that’s enough for the time being… aka enough to keep you busy for a while, LOL. Let us know what’s on your reading list in the comments section — we’ll be back with another round come the summer.

The post Winter Reading List 2022 appeared first on Lucie's List.

I’ll tell you what my resolution is whenever I think of it… probably in July. Until then, can we parents agree that things are (still) crazy, and it’s okay to just take each day as it comes?

Here’s to 2022: may it be better than 2021 and 2020. Please. Just, please!

Here are our team’s picks for books, podcasts, shows, newsletters, and treats to ring in the new year. See you out there, friends — stay warm, safe, and sane.

Books

This is The Story of a Happy Marriage, Ann Patchett ~ $15

This collection of essays from Ann Patchett has everything: humor, love, friendship, family, and all the rest. It will make you laugh, smile, cheer, wonder, and think. *Patchett reads the audio version, and listening to her read her own work is a treat all its own. ~ Brit

Sapiens, Yuval Noah Harare ~ $26

If you missed this when it came out a few years ago, you have to check it out — it reads like a sweeping long-form podcast that is history, but also anthropology, science, psychology, economics, religious studies, sociology, and everything else. It’s like the ultimate academic take on everything since the dawn of human life… for the non-academic. ~ Brit

Liane Moriarty audiobooks ~ $varies

I hadn’t read anything by Liane Moriarty since Big Little Lies, but after reading Farhad Manjoo’s case for listening to her books, I tried some out and I’m *hooked. As he writes: “Although her prose is unflashy and her subject matter seemingly pedestrian — Moriarty writes tightly plotted domestic dramas about middle- and upper-middle-class suburbanites — her observations are so precise, her characters’ psychology so well realized that I often find her stories burrowing deep into my brain and taking up long, noisy residence there.” ~ Brit

Podcasts

One Bad Mother

A non-judgmental parenting website? Because we’re not all born natural mothers and could use a little laugh (or two) — and way less judging. Co-hosted by Theresa Thorn and Biz Ellis, One Bad Mother reminds us that, regardless of the circumstances (the genius moments and the parenting fails), we are doing a great job. ~ Charlene

Heavyweight

Did you ever wish you could change the past? In his podcast, Heavyweight, humorist Jonathan Goldstein goes down memory lane with his guests to help them resolve moments from the past they wish they could change. This podcast is about turning points — about getting answers to long-lasting questions; it reckons with the past, and does so with a perfect balance of storytelling, humor and emotion. ~ Charlene

Shows

Yellowjackets

Be prepared: this Showtime series is a bit dark, but my goodness is it addictive! For those, like me, who came of age in the ’90s, you’ll love the music and throwbacks. The show weaves back and forth between the past and present day, as it follows a high school girls’ soccer team trying to survive out in the wilderness after their plane suddenly crashes on the way to Nationals. I won’t spill all the tea, but get ready for a bit of sweet nostalgia, mixed with psychological thrills, terror and gore, and a hefty dose of drama. ~ Marissa

The Sex Lives of College Girls

Mindy Kaling’s newest series — an homage to friendship and self-discovery — follows four roommates from different walks of life navigating their new freedom on a prestigious campus (and all the endlessly entertaining shenanigans that ensue). It’s bright and fun and honest; and the cast (including Pauline Chalamet!) is stellar. ~ Charlene

Queer Eye

The moment we’ve all been waiting for — The Fab Five are back for a new season of Queer Eye! So grab your box of tissues and get ready to cry your eyes out ’cause they’re back in full force with hot tips and makeovers that are sure to bring out all the feels. ~ Meg

Encanto

If you haven’t seen this yet, what have you been doing for the last three weeks? The latest from Disney & Lin-Manuel Miranda is well worth a watch — it’s visually stunning, the songs are amazing (duh), and the story is sweet and magical. ~ Brit

Newsletters and Social Media

CSAPunch

CSApunch, dentist by day, TikTok sensation by night. Her Instagram account is for the aging millennials who remember the slow agony of modem connection and glory of AOL aim chats, and who are a tad nostalgic about all things 90s. Also, she’s just as obsessed with Encanto as we are. Follow her, she’ll bring you joy. ~ Charlene

Yoga with Adriene

The beginning of the year is often ripe with resolutions, new routine and month-long challenges. This one, though, stands out for helping you connect to yourself with purpose while also decreasing anxiety and building muscle tone and stamina. It comes with a daily email — plus, it’s free, good for beginners and advanced yogis alike, and on-going (you can start it any time of the year). ~ Charlene

Cup of Jo

Cup of Jo is the ultimate lifestyle destination — for decor, style, food, travel and relationships. Well, now you can get it all straight to your inbox, nicely packaged in an email filled with the site’s latest and greatest (along with jokes, fun facts and wishlists). ~ Charlene

Self-Care and Self-Gifts

2022 planner ~ $varies

For those of us who still get our planning fix the old-fashioned way… ~ Brit

Madewell Quilted Scuff Slippers ~ $29

These cute indoor slips are super soft and cozy but still give your feet room to breathe. I’ve been living in mine since September… bonus: the faux fur is made from recycled materials! ~ Brit

Hum Kids Toothbrush ~ $15

Ok not very self-care at first glance, but hear me out. I fought with my kiddos about brushing their teeth. A LOT. Like, enough that it put a serious damper on my family’s good bedtime vibes. With this toothbrush, we no longer argue: my boys love brushing their teeth, thanks to little monsters guiding them through the process (so I don’t have to). If that’s not self-care, then I don’t know what is. ~ Charlene

Elemis Pro-Collagen line ~ $varies

Elemis offers spa sessions in bottles. Seriously, their pro-collagen line is divine and restorative and luxurious. A treat for all mamas in want of a little pick-me-up for their skin. ~ Charlene

Faux Olive Tree ~ $46+

Recommended by many home decor influencers, this faux olive tree is as realistic as it gets. Comparable in pricing to the Studio Magee Target option, it offers fuller branches and has more heft in the trunk. ~ Melissa

Rocksbox ~ $21/month

Stitch Fix, but for jewelry — this subscription box lets you discover new looks and designs without having to commit to full prices. Each month, you get three pieces of jewelry that you can send back or, if you come across something you love, you can pay extra to keep. Brilliant! ~ Meg

Revision Skincare Intellishade Anti-Aging Moisturizer ~ $76

This tinted moisturizer seriously makes my skin glow. It glides on so nicely, offers SPF 45 protection, and with its blend of anti-aging ingredients, such as vitamin C and peptides, makes skin appear smoother, fresher and younger. ~ Marissa

What are you loving this new year? Tell us in the comments below.

We see you, parents. Take good care!!

The post Love List January 2022 appeared first on Lucie's List.

Skip ahead to:

• There is A LOT going around — and it’s not just COVID. 
• When to call the doctor.
• When to test.
• Keeping sick kids home.
• COVID is not going anywhere.

1. There is A LOT going around — and it’s not just COVID. 

Pediatrics offices around the country are super busy right now, and they’re seeing a lot of sick kids. There’s a ton of COVID (obviously)!!! There’s also are a TON of other (non-COVID) viruses out there — ranging from RSV and the flu to unnamed viral crud — and they are wreaking all kinds of havoc. 

My daughter was home for 4 out of 7 weeks for illness this fall (complete with four PCR exams to match…), and I thought this was “special” somehow. Not so. *This is happening to parents in every region — unfortunately, kids are getting slammed with all the illnesses they “missed” last year, and this back-to-back-to-back cycling through illnesses is very common right now. 

Note that pediatric COVID presents with a very wide array of symptoms — there aren’t really hallmarks, and there are also a lot of asymptomatic infections among children. More on this below…

2. When to test for COVID: 

Dr. Mona recommends that anyone who has a fever and a cough pursue a test, because these are the top two COVID-19 symptoms (yes, there are all kinds of other symptoms, including separate symptomatology for children, but these are leading the pack). 

For other symptoms, Dr. Mona suggests thinking not only about the symptom but also what’s happening in your local area. How are case rates? What’s happening with COVID transmission where you live? Edit to update: This article was written just before the huge COVID spikes in the East and south…. so community transmission is an even bigger consideration now.

At-home tests are really good at picking up COVID *if you are symptomatic, but they still aren’t perfect. PCR tests remain the gold standard, but in many places these are still difficult to come by and expensive (note: in most places, PCR tests are covered by insurance). At-home tests are an easy and affordable first step for symptomatic illness. If you’re asymptomatic and needing to test (as in, after a known exposure, before/after travel, etc.), the PCR test is your best bet. 

Deciding when to test is a balancing act between symptoms and local transmission.

Note: It is imperative to check and follow local/school rules and policies for testing and return to school. Absent those, Dr. Mona says that a sick child is generally considered “cleared” for return to school after having been fever-free and med-free for 24 hours. 

There are basic layering steps you can take to reduce exposure: 

1. Keep sick kids (or anyone!) home. 
2. Consider vaccination status (your end and others). 
3. Mask (for the 2+ crowd). 
4. Practice hand hygiene. 
5. Get outside. 

Some things are “more” or “less” risky than others (think: an outside playdate or walk with a mom friend vs. a crowded indoor venue), but there’s no clear right or wrong when it comes to decisions, personal comfort and risk assessment.

You can do things and be smart about it. 

Or you can sit them out and be okay with that. 

Can we all just cut the effing judgement? (Please?)

4. COVID is not going anywhere — we all need to respect that, but also think about how to build a sustainable approach to move forward. 

COVID is part of our new reality — we need to understand that it presents a risk but also accept that it is here to stay. Variants will keep emerging; the pandemic will not suddenly “end;” we can’t predict what will happen next or when. 

We have to learn to adapt. 

Adapting has to be about sustainability, but it’s also subjective — everyone (and every family) is different, and everyone’s idea of what is or isn’t sustainable varies. For some, activities and events are truly missed, and the idea of continuing to miss out on them is devastating in itself. There are ways to enjoy these things with precaution! For others, the newfound stress those same activities and events now present simply isn’t worth it. Think about what feels right to you and your family. Whenever you’re asking yourself about doing X, consider not only how to approach it with precaution but also: are you going to enjoy it? Or is it just going to be a source of stress? 

Generally, Dr. Mona suggests thinking about: How can you make decisions such that everyone in your family can live their lives, but with caution?  

Every family is going to have different ways of thinking through and answering this question, because “living your life” is highly subjective, but how refreshing is it to hear that by making some minor adjustments and taking precautions, we can continue to help protect our kids? 

For more, check out our favorite COVID resources for parents.

The post Pediatrician Dr. Mona Amin on Winter Illness, Holiday Travel & Assessing COVID Risk appeared first on Lucie's List.

As many of you know, every holiday season we publish fresh gift guides for all different categories of recipients, ranging from babies and kids to moms, dads, friends, and grandparents. This year, we made the decision not to round up new gift picks — and instead are bringing you an alternative guide (of sorts) this season.

The TL:DR on this is that we’re all feeling a little fed up with over-consumerism right now. Especially this year, things just feel different. (Anyone?) 

Now, we’re not suggesting that anyone boycott the holidays or cancel gifting altogether, nor would we presume to impose our own feelings of reticence upon anyone else. We’re simply sending this editorial out into the world as an honest expression of where our team members are at this year, which is to say… feeling different about recommending a big holiday shopping bonanza. 

Thus, we’ve been inspired to make this year’s holiday a Smalliday.

If you have no interest in going down this rabbit hole and/or find yourself still in need of traditional gift options, we’ve left up our guides from previous years, which you can see here (2020) and here (2019), and you can always peruse our evergreen gift guides for different ages. These contain carefully curated toy and gift options that are geared toward open-ended play, freedom of creativity, and long-lasting quality. (We also have book picks for readers and listeners at every age — and books are always a great gift, IMO.)

Wherever you find yourself, we wish you all the happiest and safest of holiday seasons this year.

Skip ahead to: 

1. Things Are Weird This Year 

2. The Problem of Stuff

3. 6 Gifting Alternatives For Families

Things Are Weird This Year

There’s been an on-and-off consumer supply chain crisis throughout the entirety of the pandemic, but on the eve of this year’s holiday season, the situation seems to present a fresh dilemma for consumers. 

Rather than being a problem of demand not meeting supply (as was the case early on… remember how hard it was to get a turkey or toilet paper last year?), this new wave of supply chain issues stems from widespread labor shortages (that’s a whole ‘nother issue…) met with economic success and unprecedented consumer demand and spending, especially at the more affluent levels. As Slate reports, “Americans are currently buying a record amount of stuff, and that spending binge is crashing the transport and warehousing network meant to move it all.” 

The deluge of products into the country is creating a bottleneck, and the result is that the nation’s production factories, storage warehouses, transportation systems, workers, docks/ports, etc. are swamped — and consumers aren’t getting the “stuff” they ordered (and certainly not at the “Prime” speed they’re used to). 

In short: it’s not necessarily a great time to (further) tax an overburdened system. This logistical crisis is going beyond the discretionary-spending sector and is already beginning to impact the availability of *essentials*, like food and medicine, as Amanda Mull recently wrote in The Atlantic. (And yes — again —  toilet paper!) As the manager of the Florida network of Costco stores told Meg earlier this month, “we have toilet paper waiting on cargo ships outside of L.A., we just can’t unload the stuff… and we’re out of warehouse space. Oh, and there’s a shortage of truck drivers.” Long story short: the supply chain is failing at multiple points and it’s no easy fix.

Without advocating that you quit shopping or “cancel the holidays” altogether (we’re not Scrooges!), it feels like being intentional with our purchases might exactly be what the world needs right now.

Plus — you might not be able to get what you want anyway… at least, not in time for the holidays…

Moving on.

More Stuff Won’t Make Kids Happier

We’ve written before about the perennial — and seasonal — Stuff Problem in most households. Yes, “dealing with it” is an ongoing struggle for many. 

I think there’s a certain nervous tension that diffuses, usually starting juuuust after Halloween, about the impending influx of more to our kids’ already-excessive piles of toys, games, art supplies, stickers, stuffed animals, books, play dough and whatnot.

All. The. Things.

In the aftermath of my most recent attempt to turn my kids’ playroom from what my grandma would have called an eternal “pigsty” into a calm, clean play space where they actually have room to play, I decided to try a new tack:

An Anecdote — 

After three weeks of trying every maneuver I could possibly think of to deal with my kids’ stuff mess, including many tactics I’ve suggested in the past (ranging from teamwork to gaming to ritualizing to delivering vague threats), I was so fed up with cleaning up my kids’ sh*t that I decided to clear out their playroom. Entirely. 

Here was my thinking: I ask them to clean up; they whine. I offer to help them clean up; they gladly accept my help and then proceed to play while I clean up around them. I tell them to clean up or I will take their toys; they either complain about the injustice of the world or shrug and say they don’t mind at all, depending on the day.

The script grew old quickly. (Meanwhile, the mess grew bigger…) 

In any event, I made a drastic decision: I took away everything — ALL THE THINGS. And I figured it would solve the problem (or at least break the cycle, hah). Well, let me tell you what: it didn’t. Not entirely. Yes: even with virtually nothing in it, our playroom quickly devolved into A Huge Mess. But — do you know what? NOT ONCE did my kids ask for any of their other things back. Not once. I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. Here is what I took away from this experiment: 

1. (My) kids know how to make a mess regardless of how much or little stuff they have available to them. Clean-up is tough, and teaching it really does take time (and practice, and patience…).

2. Kids don’t really need “toys” in the traditional sense (more on that below).

It’s now been almost two months since I played the Grinch, and do you know what? My kids still haven’t asked for any of their toys. Trust me, no one is more surprised… 

This experiment prompted me to revisit Simplicity Parenting, and I was reminded that toys — and having a lot of them — are not necessarily good (or maybe even benign). As Kim John Payne explains:

• Modern industrial-era toys (a relatively new phenomenon themselves, historically speaking) have the effect of pulling children away from creativity, potentially depriving them of the gift of unscheduled downtime (aka, time to do “whatever”);

• Abundance diminishes specialness and reduces depth of exploration and engagement; 

• Too much stuff overwhelms children — it leads to choice overload and mental clutter;

• Too much stuff can (quite literally) impact children’s attention and interest in the world; to kids (cough, and adults), it’s actually “oppressive… [and the] profusion of products and playthings is not just a symptom of excess, it can also be a cause of fragmentation and overload.” 

In short: Many of us already feel like our children have Too Much. Remember: less is more. 

Six Gifting Alternatives for Families 

There always seem to be some number of “try this instead” options that adults may be perfectly happy to choose to replace traditional gift-giving, but to me many of them come up short when it comes to kids. 

Donating funds in lieu of gifting, for example, is a beautiful tradition, but I think that many parents who love this option are less enthused when it comes to using is as a replacement for their own children’s gifts. After all, the idea might be a bit too abstract for children to comprehend. Here, we’re going to focus on a handful of ideas that we hope you can get fully on board with — kids included.

If you have young kiddos, any/all of the following strategies have the added benefit of setting reasonable expectations (aka setting the bar low, LOL) at the holidays. If children expect to receive only two/three presents they know they will use and cherish (or some alternative), gifting doesn’t wind up being a constant balloon where children anticipate more and more each year.

It’s like that classic parenting line — it’s easier to add something in than to take it away…

Having a “smalliday” also helps communicate early on that the holiday season is not just about presents. In fact, when your children are young is possibly the ideal time to cement your family’s holiday ideology, so to speak. It’s an opportunity to teach them about those things that matter most (think: what do you want the highlight(s) of the season to be in two, five, seven years?) and to downplay whatever you’d prefer to leave at the door. (If your children are older, all hope isn’t lost! It’s just that you may have a harder sell…)

Here are 6 solid gifting alternatives for families with children:

1. The Great Toy Swap

Melissa came up with this truly genius idea that we all decided to steal. She told her kids that if they wanted any presents for the holiday this year, they had to pick X amount of their things (half, for example) to donate (!!). (They readily agreed, lol.)

Next, she went through everything and sorted through what was in good enough shape to donate, and instead of dumping it all at Goodwill (not that there’s anything wrong with that — but many locations have drastically reduced their donations acceptances), she started a running list and invited friends to join in. Soon enough, she had an entire neighborhood toy exchange going.

With Google docs and spreadsheets, this is an easier-than-ever-before (though still damn impressive) feat to pull off — and it has such amazing benefits all around. Everyone involved gets to feel great about whittling down on their own belongings, gets to “holiday shop” for free, and knows they’re not contributing to excess waste/climate change/etc. It’s a win-win-win. 

Pro tip: Kids don’t care about the social norms of gifting like we adults do, like gifts must be new (with tags on!).

Psst — other groups of neighbors/friends do something similar but at a set date and in-person, where you can literally walk around to “shop” at different tables. It’s like a group yard sale without the financial exchange and designed specifically for the holidays. **If you’ve done something similar, let us (and everyone else!) know how in the comments section, and bravo! 

Relatedly, you could opt to donate excess toys to a local charity and shop at second-hand stores (including Goodwill!) for choice gifts.

2. Set a (Low) Limit

Decide on a limited number of things to gift your children, and focus on choosing open-ended toys that invite creativity and free play (think: legos, art/craft supplies, building blocks, etc.). Many of these have the added benefit of lasting through years of play (rather than fizzling out after a temporary developmental period). The key here is to stick to your limit… swear an oath, if you must, hah. 

If the grandparents in your life tend to be over-gifters, have a talk with them about limits and why you feel they’re important. (Easier said than done, we know… but sometimes these transitions can pan out over the course of a few seasons. And now is as good a time as any to begin the process.) 

To help set limits, some parents adopt the following division of gifting: one thing you want, one thing you need, and an educational/creative toy.

3. Go Homemade

If it’s your cup of tea, making crafty DIY gifts is such a fun option — and kids literally LOVE when people make things for them! You can even craft a gift for your partner with your kids — because yes, kids also LOVE making things with and for people.

When it comes to your parents, keep it DIY. A gift made by grandkids is so much more meaningful than whatever you’d buy at the mall.

DIY Gift Ideas for Grandparents

I am the least artsy-crafty person I know. I always think the idea of homemade gifting sounds great, but I never actually know what to do… and I never follow through. Half the battle is deciding on your project, friends. Here are a handful of economical ideas that are also **highly doable.

1. Finger Paint

Simple, messy finger paint on a plain canvas is so easy. If you want to use paper, you can always buy a frame, and I also love the idea of capturing the artist at work, too (see below).

2. Handprint Everything

Have your kiddo slap their handprint on literally anything — don’t ask me why, exactly, but everyone always eats this up. Use: a T-shirt, a crew neck sweatshirt, a canvas tote bag, a serving plate, cardboard coasters, a watering can, an oven mitt, a wooden plank… whatever. It takes like two minutes, ya’ll, and whether it comes out tacky (as in my case) or classy (see below), it’s always sentimental. (See this fabulous list for more ideas.)

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3. Photo Coasters

This fun little art project is functional and would pair well with a simple drink (a bottle of wine, some hot chocolate mix, mulling spices, etc.). For less of a project, you could simply let your children paint/decorate coasters. And, if you’re totally not up for the hands-on “doing,” check out Etsy…

4. Mint Body Scrub

This four-ingredient recipe is simple enough for toddlers to pitch in and makes for a lovely self-care treat. If you dress it up in a mason jar (LOL) with some holiday trappings (red ribbon, a bow, etc.), the presentation is quite seasonal! (Also, you can use either green or red food coloring.)

5. Decorated Golf Balls

Give your kids some golf balls and some sharpies and tell them to go to town. For the golf lover in your family, this is a super easy… and also adorable.

4. Secret Santa 

I LOVE this option for adults, and I don’t think I ever thought of it as a serious possibility with kids, but you actually can do it with your kids. Many families who take this approach love it — including the youngsters. In fact, kids really enjoy being included in drawing names for gift exchanges — and this entire “strategy” has the added benefit of reducing total gifting (especially in big, sprawling families).

In my family (parents, siblings, siblings-in-law), for example, we started using Draw Names to set up our gift exchange and keep things both random and secret. We all agree to a modest price limit, and we schedule a Zoom call around the holiday to open our gifts together and guess who “gifted” one another — and it’s SO fun! Since we all now only purchase and receive one gift, it’s resulted in all-around less spending, less junk, more intentional buying, and a deeper connection with one another. 

You could also “pair” drawing names with limited gifting. For example, among my husband and two kids and I (we celebrate Christmas), our plan this year is to limit Santa to 3 gifts per child and do a homemade gift swap among the four of us. We’re hoping that eventually, as our kids get older, the secret Santa gift swap would move to the forefront and would essentially be the extent of our gift exchange. 

5. Plan something else special (that your kids will love)

Taking a trip (or planning/saving for one if you’re not comfortable traveling right now), arranging for a fancy dinner or meal experience, or planning a special family outing can be so fun, and it can also serve as a new tradition! 

I think many of us (myself included) feel some responsibility to “give” our children a certain kind of holiday — namely, one that involves lots of presents and toys. But, if you think back to your own childhood holidays, what do you remember most? What do you remember best?

I personally remember time and traditions with my parents and siblings: decorating a tree and hanging lights outside, going out to breakfast every Christmas Eve morning, listening to Christmas music and the smell of cinnamon rolls… And okay, yes, I remember the anticipation and excitement of merely seeing presents in the morning (Santa came!), but I am struck by the fact that despite my best efforts I can barely remember a single physical present I received. Actually, I remember the dinky presents I made and/or bought for my family members much better, which also tells me something, hah! 

6. Shop Local

The supply chain crisis is predominantly affecting imports, and though many domestic production lines rely on imported goods at some point, buying local is a fantastic way to circumvent the proverbial gridlock — and support local artisans and business owners! 

Yes, it’s *such a great time to support local owners and producers (well — it’s always a good time, hah!). We think it’s a great way to buoy your community, shop with purpose, and contribute to the local economy. 

And although it’s not necessarily local, Etsy is a national venue that enables you to “buy local,” from afar. There are so many top-quality pieces of craftsmanship from individual producers and artists available at different price points and for different age groups — it’s a great spot. 

I totally get that this may not resonate with some of you, and we on our end have no intention of foisting our own mindset this season on anyone else. 

And to be clear — gift-giving can be so great! Many people express love through giving and receiving gifts, and giving is literally good for your health! But not all gifting is the same, and there’s something to be said for a more minimalist, thoughtful take on the traditional buying and giving holiday culture (we think)… 

Like giving something (anything) up or trying to change a habit, I think the mere thought of giving up (or cutting back on) traditional holiday gift giving makes many of us feel squirmy. It feels like no, or like the kind of thing that “just won’t work.” But it’s totally possible, and people who do it actually love it.

Having a Smalliday — however you choose to do it — also offers other benefits that go beyond “not needlessly spending” and “not accumulating unnecessary toys and junk.” It’s also better for the environment, puts less of a strain on the currently swamped supply chain, and invites us all to think about why the holidays really matter to us… and hopefully refocus our attention on that. 

Happy Holidays, all!

The post 2021 Holiday Guide: A Very Special “Smalliday” appeared first on Lucie's List.

If summer has caught you as unaware as me, blink your eyes, grab your shades and your sunscreen, and get in the mood for heat. Here’s some summertime flair to deck out your backyard (the best summer decor goes outside, right?):

Light It Up

String Lights ~$89-$179

These indoor/outdoor LED string lights from PB have a smooth antique look about them and are very high-quality. I’m always tempted to go cheap on string lights, and I always regret it — available in 12′, 24′ and 48′ lengths.

Tabletop String Light Holders ~$99

Because not everyone has a fence or trellises to hang them from…

Solar Lanterns ~$35

These romantic lanterns throw off a warm light that’s perfect for evenings and late night, and even looks “glowy” during the daytime.

Solar Powered LED pathway lights ~ $27

These pretty warm LED lights are a fun way to brighten your walkway or simply light up your yard. Plus, they’re solar powered!

Set the Scene

An Outdoor Rug

Even Jeff Lebowski knew that an area can really tie a room together; the same is true for an outdoor area.

The leader in the outdoor rug category is Ruggable (left, ~$219+), which comes with both the rug and a non-slip rug pad AND **is machine-washable.

We’ve also enjoyed the wide selection of indoor/outdoor rugs from Wayfair, including this flatweave rug, available in 3 colors.

Grandin Road Planters ~ $varies

These gorj planters from Grandin Road are perfect for the doorstep/entryway. See all of Grandin Road’s planters here.

Fire Pit ~ $99+

The simple act of sitting by a fire feels so natural and primitive.

Your local hardware store should have basic options ($149+), which are somewhat portable and great for patios/terraces (or wherever, lol). This year, we are also loving the beloved smokeless Solo Stove Bonfire Pit (~$229). We also love a good chiminea fire pit as well — it adds a little cachet to your backyard decor.

I hope they never go out of style!

A Pretty Floral Wreath ~ $89+

Williams Sonoma has a gorgeous selection of handmade floral wreaths (made from dried flowers) that last for 3-5 years. They’re so elegant and classy! If you prefer a greener aesthetic, check out Pottery Barn for more options, including ones for Fourth of July!

UpBlend Wind Chime ~ $40

This bamboo wind chime makes a beautiful, subtle sound when blown. Nothing like sitting out on the porch and hearing this relaxing symphony.

Destination Signs ~$varies

These are such a fun, colorful way to personalize your outdoor space, and they’re also juuuust the right dose of sentimental. If you’re the handy/crafty type (pointing at someone else), you could even DIY. Makes for a great gift, too.

Take a Seat

Teak Rockers ~$289

Outdoor rockers are a staple on southern porches (they literally scream summer decor) — but they’re great anywhere. Our set has lasted through multiple Ohio seasons followed by nine Maine winters, and counting. We love that it has a cupholder.

Another classic — Adirondack Chairs ~$299

If you prefer a non-rocker, these all-weather Adirondacks are the perfect touch for any backyard. They’re just harder to get up from.

Lazy Daze Hammock ~$78

What can we say about a hammock? It’s comfortable? It’s fun? Kids fall out of them? All of the above, hah. It’s truly a summer staple, especially if your plans for the summer is to relax.

Bench Porch Swing ~$360

This classic bench-style porch swing is so classy and fun — but be aware, they do take a while to install…

Outdoor Throw Pillows ~$varies

For your rockers/hammock/bench swing/outdoor couch/etc. My very favorite source for outdoor throw pillows is Etsy. There is an absolutely huge selection – and the prices are right. Wayfair also has a great selection of designs that range on the spectrum from whimsical to chic.

Kids Picnic Table ~$varies

If you have room for a kids picnic table, they are so cute and SO practical to have — the most utilitarian summer decor around. My kids were always on the verge of falling off their “adult-sized” seats at our patio table and picnic table. Here are three great options at different price points:

Ikea RESO ~$69 — Economy Pick

Gorilla Playsets Table w/Umbrella ~$151

Crate & Barrel Polywood Table ~$319 — Upgrade Pick

This Polywood kids picnic table by Crate and Kids is one that will last forever – one that can be passed along, instead of being tossed out with the trash.

While you’re at it —

If your family partakes in any amount of outdoor dining, get yourself a good tray. I don’t know why it took me so long to start using ours, but it seriously cuts down on the back-and-forth. There are numerous options, but we love this tray ($29) from Crate & Barrel. It’s sturdy, sizable, has a classic look, and defies seasonality.

Play

Lastly, here are a handful of fun things to keep littles active and occupied outside, ranging from play sets to fun decorative summer crafts. Check out our water play round-up for even more ideas.

An Outdoor Play Tent ~$varies

Sandbox w/Cover ~$varies

Play House ~$250 (varies)

Arts & Crafts

If you’re the crafty type, you can let your kids make your summer decorations – put those littles to work! Hah. Here are a few fun starter ideas:

• Some adorable summer DIY decor ideas here at ahouseinthehills.com

• Painted pots via ahouseinthehills.com

• Make a mini Mason Jar aquarium — an easier way to take care of fish!

• Paint rocks (Have you heard about the Kindness Rocks Project?? My kids are OBSESSED. Also, see here for even more ideas on using rocks to make art).

Hopefully you’ve found something to spruce up your outdoor space in our list of summertime decor essentials. Any favorites we missed? Feel free to share your ideas in the comment section.

Cheers to summer!

~ Brit

The post Summer Decor for 2024 appeared first on Lucie's List.

Whether you’ve spent the pandemic plowing through books, or (like many) you’ve been too busy trying to balance WFH, remote learning, hanging onto some semblance of a social life via Zoom, keeping your relationship afloat, plus errands and walking your new dog and housework and omg potty training and wait– should you sell your house RN? and all the rest…

You can always escape with a book.

Here’s what we’re digging into this season:

Summer Reading List

A Good Neighborhood, Therese Ann Fowler — For anyone who loved Little Fires Everywhere

The Whitmans, a two-parent white family with two daughters, move in next-door to Valerie Alston-Holt, a forestry/ecology professor, and her son Xavier, who are both black. This evocative (and timely) story about these two families’ dynamics and ongoings in the small southern town of Oak Knoll will stay with you — for a long time.

The City We Became, NK Jemisin — For your fantasy fix

The first book in Jemisin’s new trilogy has everything we know and love from the rest of her series — fantasy, heroes & villains, gritty characters, a plot that unfolds like it’s on speed, and (of course) unbelievable writing. The difference? It’s set in the “real world”: NYC.

When my husband asked me about it, I told him it’s sort of like the 21st-century version of Batman. (Psst: if you’ve never read Jemisin before, check out The Fifth Season (book one of The Broken Earth series) or The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms (book one of The Inheritance trilogy)).

Writers and Lovers, Lily King — For anyone who loves literary fiction

Lily King’s newest book is a literary study of the proverbial starving artist — Casey Peabody is trying to cope with the sudden loss of her mother while also waiting tables, drowning in debt and living in a garage, struggling to finish her novel, and, last but not least, attempting to deal with seemingly lifelong “boy problems.” You’ll get wrapped up in her life and decisions as much as the next person.

The Glass Hotel, Emily St. John Mandel — For an eerie escape

Readers describe this book about what happens to a diverse cast of characters in the downfall of a Ponzi scheme as “spectacular,” “a puzzle,” “otherworldly,” and “atmospheric and haunting.” Much like her previous (amazing) book, Station Eleven (which follows the intersecting lives of a handful of survivors of an apocalyptic flu — sound familiar?), The Glass Hotel is a meditation on the fragility of life as we know it.

The Vanishing Half, Brit Bennett — A book about family, race, identity, and generational history

This lyrical story follows the lives of identical twin sisters Desiree and Stella Vignes over the course of decades, from their girlhood lives in their strange all-Black hometown in the South to their adult lives in different parts of the country, their children, and everything in between. This is a provocative, beautiful book that touches on so many pertinent social and cultural issues from both the past and today.

The Midnight Library, Matt Haig — For a fantastical spin on the Butterfly effect

The Midnight Library is the kind of book you won’t be able to get out of your head while you’re reading it — and you’ll probably want to talk to everyone you know about it, too. As one Goodreads reviewer wrote, it’s “one of the best sci-fi dances with fantasy.” A magical and clever take on the concept that alternative realities could exist for any of us (“what if I had done X another way?”), this is a story about regret, choice, chance, and the possibilities of life.

The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller — For anyone who loves classic stories/myths, reimagined

Written by a classicist, this retelling of The Iliad (which tells the story of The Trojan War) through the eyes of Patroclus is achingly beautiful. An imaginative, expressive take on a classic text in the Western canon, this book reads with soul. “Dazzling literary feet” is right. (Oh — and if you haven’t read Circe yet (Miller’s other book, a retelling of The Odyssey), read that as well! It too is beautiful and amazing; and also, HBO just picked it up for a miniseries.)

Big Summer, Jennifer Weiner — For your classic summer beach read

Entertainment Weekly described Big Summer as “the beach read to end all beach reads.” It’s got messy friendships, a wedding, a splash of mystery, and social media fallout. Oh, and it’s set on Cape Cod. Throw it in your bag, sunshine. 

All Adults Here, Emma Straub — Also for your classic summer beach read

Straub is known for delivering a charming take on your classic dysfunctional family story: quirky but relatable characters, humor mixed with cynicism, plot lines that question the border between juvenile and adulthood (see The Vacationers and Modern Lovers), and in All Adults Here she delivers just the same. The Washington Post describes it as “a smart, of-the-moment take on a family in turmoil,” and the NYT writes that the book is “literary sunshine.” 

A Promised Land, Barack Obama — For… well, everyone, because yes

The 700-page brick of a book that needs no introduction… the first of Barack’s presidential memoirs was one of the most highly-anticipated releases of 2020. Like him or not, it’s a fascinating read. (Did you miss Michelle’s book? It’s awesome. And also shorter than Barack’s…. LOL.)

Klara and the Sun, Kazuo Ishiguro — For your dystopian fix

The newest book from Nobel-prize laureate Kazuo Ishiguro is enchanting, emotional, and (as always, with Ishiguro) profound. The book is narrated by Klara, an “AF” (artificial friend) who is inclined to meticulous observation and who, in telling her story, raises philosophical questions about the nature of being human. (If you’ve never read Ishiguro, also highly-recommended: Never Let Me Go.)

The Final Revival of Opal and Nev, Dawnie Walton — For anyone who loved Daisy Jones and the Six

This debut novel is a historical fiction that blurs the line between reporting and storytelling. This story about Afropunk rock-n-roll duo Opal and Nev’s success, downfall, and pending reunion digs into race, place, inequality, celebrity, and family. As NPR described it: this is a “faux music history that rocks.” *And yes, reviewers are GUSHING about the audiobook format.

Clean: The New Science of Skin, James Hamblin — Nonfiction pick

Hamblin is one of my favorite writers for The Atlantic, and his new book calls into question everything we think we know about cleanliness, hygiene, and skin care. It’s an especially interesting and refreshing read given the current state of the pandemic. 

The Need, Helen Phillips — For a mysterious and possessing tale of motherhood

This haunting tale about the two sides of motherhood borrows from sci-fi but reads like a quiet literary thriller. It will make you angry, sad, happy, scared, annoyed, and delighted — just like parenthood. One reviewer’s description of The Need as a “literary fever dream” is spot on. It’s a story you will be thinking about long after you finish reading.

You can always check out our previous editions (see 2018, 2019, and 2020) for more ideas, and please let us know in the comments what other titles are on your list.

The post Summer Reads for 2021 appeared first on Lucie's List.

Jump Ahead to: 

• On COVID and Children
• On What To Do If Someone In Your Home Is Diagnosed with COVID
• On Getting Vaccinated
• On How to Live After You’re Vaccinated
• On Travel 

On COVID, Kids and Parenting this Summer

• Because they are the least affected age group [insert whopping sigh of relief], this pandemic has been characterized by a lack of information on children — and thus, a lack of info for parents;

• Health guidelines from the CDC and elsewhere are directed toward adults;

• The data/information is constantly changing, BUT children are generally at much lower risk for severe illness — *this doesn’t mean they can’t become ill, but it is the generalization.

On What To Do If Someone In Your Home Is Diagnosed with Coronavirus: 

• Every unvaccinated person in the home should be considered exposed — and needs to quarantine for 10 days from the last possible point of exposure; 

• The goal is to reduce risk for every exposed individual by reducing in-home spread to the extent that you are able:
  • *Layer as many protective measures as you possibly can, but know that everyone’s situation/space/circumstances are different (see here for the specifics on this); 
  • Follow local regulations for quarantine/testing;
  • Check with your child’s school/day care about testing protocols for their return after exposure or illness.

Exposure = 15 or more minutes in a 24-hour period with someone who’s infected with COVID

On Getting the Vaccine: 

• Do it! These vaccines are great! They work! They are safe! They are phenomenal!

• If you’re pregnant: 
  • pregnant women who’ve received the vaccines have had great outcomes and there have not been increases in miscarriage rates 
  • Although it’s preliminary data, we’re starting to see benefits for babies born to mothers who received the vaccine (i.e., babies born with antibodies) 

Adult vaccination helps protect kids.The more adults that get vaccinated, the fewer places the virus can go — which in turn means we can protect our children even before we vaccinate them!

Parents: On How to Live After You’re Vaccinated

• You still need to follow local regulations, like masking in public;

• If you have a COVID exposure (see above), you can consider yourself “exempt”;

• You can meet in small groups with other unvaccinated individuals; 

• **Obviously children are unvaccinated — if you’re visiting with other families, you need to talk about the risks: 
  • Are there any high risk children? (This is broadly defined, but: are there any children with medical conditions, namely neurological/genetic conditions that impede children’s breathing?; also, children under 1 have a slightly higher risk of hospitalization, probably b/c they have weaker immune systems — though, they do generally still have okay outcomes.) 

• Should children wear masks? 
  • This is a personal choice — it depends on your level of comfort and the circumstances.

Being outdoors is a layer of protection in and of itself — merely being outside reduces the risk of transmission.

On Family Travel with Children During the Pandemic

Cue to ~22:30 min to hear Dr. Mona speak about her family’s take on visiting with other vaccinated families; and cue to ~29 min to listen to Dr. Mona explain her own family’s travel plans this spring 

“The person who is most concerned about COVID exposure should get to have the biggest say.” ~Dr. Mona

*If your child has a medical condition, talk to your pediatrician. 

If you have otherwise healthy children:

• More important than the to and from of travel itself is… what are you going to do/who are you going to see when you arrive — are you visiting a couple/few vaccinated people, or are you going to be around a lot of people/crowds, unmasked, etc.? The biggest risk is (still) to anyone you might be visiting who is older and unvaccinated; 
• Think about what you’re comfortable with in terms of risk, understanding that travel does implicitly increase your risk;
• Airplanes are not much of a concern (due to HEPA filters) — as long as airlines continue to institute mask mandates.

[Note: At the time of our interview, the CDC was still not advising any unnecessary travel for vaccinated individuals, but as of 4/2 the new CDC guidelines allow for domestic travel among fully vaccinated individuals.]

This pandemic is not over. It’s real — even if you are vaccinated. ~Dr. Mona

How Scared Should We Be of Our Kids Getting Covid? 

• The risk a child will contract COVID is getting better (aka going down) everyday —  because of vaccination;

• It’s important to keep wearing masks regardless; 

• We don’t yet have enough information on how variants are playing out in the pediatric population, but what we do have suggests they may be causing even milder illness in children .

At this moment, there is so much to be optimistic about, but we do still need to take this pandemic seriously and employ the simple precautions we know work (did we mention masks?!), and we also need to continue to be aware of the situation, talk openly and honestly with others, and be respectful. 

The post COVID & Families: Safety Concerns at Home, Vaccination & Summer Travel appeared first on Lucie's List.

Not only are you ill (to varying degrees), but there are logistics. It turns out, it’s not as easy as the 14-day quarantine we all keep hearing about. Living through COVID is different for a family than it is for single individuals or even childless couples. 

Though we’ve seen a substantial decrease in cases over the last week or so, we also know the new, more transmissible variants are already spreading in the US, and the reality is that there are going to be many more COVID cases in the months to come before we can achieve widespread vaccination. 

And many of those cases are going to be parents. Parents of babies and young children. Parents like us, or you, or your friend or sibling or neighbor. 

And unfortunately there’s almost no useful information “out there” to guide parents on how to manage an in-house case of COVID. After all, if we fall ill to this thing, we can’t hire a sitter, send the kids to a neighbor’s house, or (especially!) call in the grandparents. The overall inability to get childcare help from the outside world can make the whole situation 10x harder.

We set out to demystify — and destigmatize — this ordeal for parents who may experience it and hope that this piece offers some support, fellowship, and practical information for anyone in this unwelcome situation. 

I conducted independent research, interviewed health professionals (including a practicing pediatrician), and spoke with numerous real moms who have suffered the nightmare of COVID in their homes. For the sake of anonymity, I haven’t used any of their names in this piece, and some of the responses you’ll read are amalgams based on their similar testimonies.

Many thanks to all of our readers who gave your time and shared your story for the benefit of others.

This article consists of three sections, all of which stem directly from the firsthand conversations I had with parents: Things to Know at the Outset, Strategies for Getting Through the Day-to-Day, and Managing Mental Health. 

In the meantime, keep up to speed on what’s happening with vaccinations in your state — and pre-register if you can. 

Things to Know at the Outset:

1. Understand the timeline.

Almost universally, moms told me they were naive about the timeline for quarantine. Most Americans are at least familiar with the general 10-14 day quarantine time frame from state health departments and the CDC, but the reality is that when a family member in the household comes down with COVID, it’s very likely that quarantine will last at least one month, and possibly longer. 

“Household exposure is considered an ongoing exposure.”

This is because of the “rolling diagnosis” phenomenon (this is not a real term, BTW, I made it up) — in which members of a family receive staggered diagnoses over time. 

Perhaps a child tests positive for COVID, then a parent starts developing symptoms and is diagnosed a few days later, another parent a few days after that, and so on… If various members of your household contracted COVID, everyone would need to quarantine from the date of the last diagnosis. 

Alternatively, if some individuals in the family never contract the virus (or simply never take and thus never receive a positive test result), this extends the quarantine from the last possible day of their potential exposure.

For example — say family member A tests positive on day 1, then family member B tests positive on day 7, and family member C tests positive on day 12. Family member D is considered exposed throughout this whole time, and so would need to begin their own quarantine on the last day of C’s own isolation (which would be ~day 29)… you can see how this could really stretch out.

Yes, depending on where you live and/or your children’s school’s policies, the required length of quarantine after an exposure can be up to twenty days — after everyone is feeling well and COVID-free. 

For most of the moms I spoke with, this was a 4-6 week ordeal.

You can see all the specifics on the CDC quarantine guidelines (for a potential exposure, which includes household exposure) here and isolation guidelines (for cases) here. Our friend Dr. Darria, an ER physician and the author of Mom Hacks, also talks about quarantine, isolation, and testing requirements — plus much more — here. 

2. There is the pediatrician’s recommendation… and then there is reality. 

There are various professional advisements and recommendations as to how to handle a case of COVID in the household — they come from the CDC, state health departments, Johns Hopkins, the Cleveland Clinic, and elsewhere — but none of them necessarily take into account what the experience is actually like when you have little kids. 

Some women told me that they received two separate talks from their family’s pediatrician’s office: the “here’s the technical recommendation” talk and then the “in reality, do whatever you can” talk.

The gist of the technical recommendation bit is this: ideally, family members with COVID would self-quarantine within the home, or else isolate and social distance as much as possible if a true quarantine is not an option. It’s best to wear masks inside, use separate bathrooms, sleep separately, and eat separately, too. 

It goes without saying that everyone is going to have a different approach to this — and it greatly depends on who’s living under your roof (among other things). But the moms I spoke with stressed that they figured out what was going to work for them (see #3, below) and *tried not to look back. 

**It also goes without saying certain public health considerations are non-negotiable… what we are talking about in this article is how to handle the strategy inside your own home. 

Getting By

I spoke with a close friend and practicing pediatrician about this problem, and she agreed that the CDC guidelines don’t sufficiently address the fact that many families simply may not be able to implement their advice. 

Generally speaking, she said, she would advise families with a household diagnosis  — regardless of the presence/absence of symptoms — to look at the CDC recommendations and implement as many of them as they can, whether that’s only one/two, or all of them. For any given family, this decision-making process is going to vary according to a bevy of different circumstances (including, of course, your children’s ages). 

Here are the CDC guidelines, FYI:

• Physical distance (6 ft) inside the home — whether and to what extent you can actually do this safely depends on your child’s age and independence level. “Obviously if a parent has infants, toddlers, or young school age kids at home, this won’t be safe or feasible,” my friend said. But for older children or teenagers, it may be doable; 

• If it’s possible to designate a separate bathroom for COVID-positive individuals (regardless of how you approach physical distancing^^), do so;

• Wear face masks inside the home (everyone older than 2 years);

• Improve ventilation with things like opening the windows in shared spaces;

• Handwash — we know, you know, you know, you know…;

• Disinfect high touch surfaces;

• Take food prep precautions — wash hands and wear a mask when preparing food for your kids (Dr. Darria separately explained to me that meals are likely the biggest vulnerability, in fact);

• Monitor symptoms — check 1-2x daily. 

*The idea here is for families to implement whichever of these measures they can with the goal of reducing household transmission. And one other thing to think about with respect to this goal: even if everyone in your family has already been exposed, it’s still worth it to minimize additional exposure to the extent that you can. 

But let’s be clear — many of these items, besides being difficult if not impossible for families with babies and young children, are also primarily available to two-parent families in upper-economic brackets who also have job security and job flexibility. This is yet another reason why social justice — or, in this case, the lack thereof —  is such an important aspect of individual and public health.

Household Transmission

By the way, household transmission rates vary widely across studies.

An ongoing study from the CDC that entails daily testing of all household members suggests a secondary infection rate of 53%; a majority (75%) of secondary infections happened within five days of the first family member’s illness. (You can read a synopsis of that project at CNN.) But some projects in other countries (with various differences in study design and methodologies) have reported much lower rates. 

A recent review of studies that investigated household transmission of COVID found that “on average, once the first person in a previously healthy household becomes infected with SARS-CoV-2, the others have a roughly 17% chance of being infected by that person.” A few things to note here: 1) This 17% risk DOES reflect protective strategies like masking, distancing, etc., so it’s possible that this number would be higher in the absence of any mitigation strategies; 2) The studies involved only accounted for people who transmitted from that “case zero” in the house — not a second or third case… though, who knows how they determined this piece… ; and, 3) studies where families were tested more frequently documented higher rates of household transmission. 

A subsequent review analysis in JAMA found an estimated rate of 16.6%. Chances of transmission were higher if the primary case was symptomatic, and secondary rates were also higher to adults than to children. 

Bottom line: it’s fair to say that household transmission is somewhat likely, though certainly not an inevitability. 

Real World Experience

→ We have more on mucking through all the sh*tty decisions with respect to which guidelines to follow below, but for now, here are some real decisions and thoughts on these issues from moms who went through this: 

• “When I got my positive test, the RN I saw at urgent care said it would be best if I isolated as much as possible, wore my mask around the house, slept by myself, etc. But she also said that my husband and son had both been exposed, so it really didn’t matter all that much.” 
  
• “I’ll be honest — we weren’t very diligent with mitigation strategies like distancing, isolation, and masking in the house. It’s just the nature of COVID that you don’t know the exact minute you’re exposed, so by the time you do, you’ve already been around your family… I did avoid sharing cups and food, and washed my hands more often, and tried to not share kisses on the face.”

• “While waiting for my test results, I wore a mask around my 9-month-old daughter and husband. Once I received the positive result, we made the decision for me to self-isolate while my husband and our daughter got tested. They both ended up testing negative! So I stayed self-isolated for a week until I was considered cleared… The hardest part was being away from my daughter and husband for so long. There would be times I would try to peel out into the living room to watch our daughter play and she would see me and crawl towards me, but I would have to shut the door before she got there. It was so heartbreaking!“

• “I think it’s unrealistic to expect parents, especially mothers with no partners to help, to isolate from their kids for two weeks. It’s just not feasible.” 

• “We masked in the house for about 7 or 8 days until we had a second positive test. After that, we didn’t totally see the point anymore.”

• “We had COVID hit our house twice. Our first go round was when my 5-year old son tested positive… I was terrified to see that lab result… We managed to devise a plan to keep me and our youngest segregated [since we both share a preexisting health condition which put us at greater risk for complications]… my older son and my husband hunkered down in the basement for quarantine, while I stayed upstairs with our youngest. Being on duty without reprieve from an 18 month old at the time was exhausting…
  
  Our second go round, it was mom who started a chain reaction… It hit me hard, and for three days I was out of commission. Knowing that our older son was within his 90-day window from his positive test I was able to help him when my fatigue wasn’t too much, but we still kept me segregated from the youngest.” 

• After isolating and distancing from one of her children while she was positive, one mother told me that when her son’s test came back positive she was “almost relieved that I could be with him.”

3. Do what you and your family need to do.

Precisely because the information and advice on how to handle this situation is all over the place (remember, this virus is still very new, and doctors and scientists still have a lot to learn), everyone I spoke to stressed that it was important to “do you” — to do what’s right for your family. And as parents, we have at least some muscle memory for “getting through it.” 

• “We just struggled through it… I mean, there are no options.”

• “You do what you have to do as a parent… you get through it.” 

• “You have to balance what everyone needs.” 

• “At the end of the day, remember that you are doing the best you can through a really difficult time. Follow your gut to keep your family sane and as safe as possible.”

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4. It can be scary — breathe deep.

Many of the moms I spoke with talked about the intense fear of the uncertainty they felt both throughout COVID’s presence in their homes as well as after (though some said there was a certain measure of relief at the “end” of things, especially if everyone had contracted it and recovered). 

“The thing we had tried so hard to keep out of our home was here and my mind instantly began to run through any and all scenarios, including the most grim.”

Women told me they worried about if and when others in their home would contract COVID; about making phone calls to tell coworkers, friends or family they may have exposed; about how long it would last; and especially about what was going to happen — whether they or their partners or children might suddenly take a turn for the worse — and what would happen if they did. 

For some, the fear of being hospitalized or dying was always in the back of their mind.

One mom said, ”the nurse asked me if I could get a full breath… and after thinking and worrying that I might not be able to, at some point, it really got into my head, and then I started having trouble breathing because I was so worried!” 

Lessons from the Trenches: Getting Through The Day-to-Day

During our interviews, we noticed recurring themes from parents. Here’s how they got through it: 

Take Help Where You Can

“This virus turns every household into an island.”

~ NYT correspondent Dana Goldstein, on Twitter

• If you have a partner who is available/able to help, lean on them. 

• “My husband was a rockstar!!”

• Accept help when it is offered; furthermore, seek out and rely on your support system for help (whatever it is) — and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort level on this one. 

• “Take advantage of any available support that can be done safely.”

Friends, it’s worth stressing this last point — multiple moms I spoke with emphasized that though asking for help wasn’t the most comfortable thing to do, getting help got them through it. As one woman explained it to me: “I think moms in particular are quiet about when they need help… and you can’t be.” 

On the flip side of this, if you know someone who is dealing with a case of COVID, offer to help. It’s appreciated! And some women also told us that even having friends text or call to check in on them was uplifting. 

• Use grocery delivery and meal delivery, order out, etc. 

The sad reality is that as crappy as the situation is for parents in general, NO ONE has any good solutions for getting through COVID if you are a single parent.

Axe Your Rules and Expectations

• “We just muddled through it, and muddled all expectations… for everything, really.”

• Relax any sort of expectations you have for being productive or working — stick to the BASICS.

Shoot for “good enough parenting.” 

~ Michelle Malloy, M.S., MFT

• “A nurse practitioner at our doctor’s office told me: Cut yourself some slack — put the kids in front of the TV, order food — do whatever you need to… Throw the rules out the window and just get through it.”

• “The laundry, cleaning, and non-essentials can wait.” 

• Do not feel guilty about screen time. (< So, so many said this.)

Focus on the Now

• “Take things one single day at a time, and if that feels like too much, break the day into chunks, like ‘before lunchtime,’ or ‘before naptime.’”
• “Don’t panic (because the initial response is to panic)… by and large, most people do okay.”

Take Care of Yourself

• REST. Rest, rest, rest — whenever you can as much as you can. 
• Stay hydrated. Take your vitamins. Eat well.
  

Tend to Your Mental Health

• Give yourself grace and acknowledge what you are going through — as one mom explained, “just because we were fortunate enough to not end up in the hospital or worse, doesn’t mean that the experience wasn’t draining and traumatic.” 
• This is an unprecedented situation to be in — just knowing that can help.

See more on how to tend to your mental health below.

Managing Your Mental Health

At risk of sounding like a broken record, we’re doubling down on how to wade through the mental health sh*tsorm that is COVID — it’s not easy, but there are some things you can do to help.

“The worry and anxiety was legit. I don’t ever want to do that again.”

We likely don’t need to tell you that there is an insane stigma that comes hand-in-hand with a COVID diagnosis — people can be seriously judgey about it, and that’s hard to stomach. One result is that many Americans simply are keeping their illness a secret — which is understandable but also has the effect of maintaining the judgement-city status quo.

Furthermore, many COVID-positive parents who do share their diagnosis [and again — the moms I spoke with overwhelmingly advised doing so — and asking for help in the follow-up] express that they feel as though they’re in a fishbowl, and everyone is watching their every move (especially when it comes to their reentry into the public). One mom who got into her car to simply go for a much-needed drive said that she “could sense all the neighbors talking about me as I pulled away.”

There were two aspects of the mental health swamp that especially seemed to keep cropping up among the moms I spoke with: 

How am I supposed to decide what to “do” in terms of adopting (or not) medical recommendations? 

and

How am I supposed to handle the uncertainty of COVID-19 in my own home? 

Here’s what Michelle Malloy, who specializes in anxiety disorders and has worked with COVID families and parents through the pandemic, has to say to help: 

1. How am I supposed to decide what to “do” in terms of the medical recommendations?

Knowing that every family’s situation is different — really knowing it — is the first step in working to navigate what’s right for your family. 

And managing mental health can and should be part of this equation. Michelle’s advice reinforces what we mentioned earlier on: you have to balance what health professionals tell you with your family’s reality. “And reality has to take precedence,” she says, “especially if you have serious qualms about something you’re ‘told’ to do.” 

For example, if your reality is that you have a young child who’s very clingy (for lack of a better word), you may worry that physical distancing is going to harm your child’s mental health more than the alternative, and this is a fair consideration. Because parents have as much a right to ask “what if my child develops lasting mental health issues as a result of forced distancing or isolation?” as they do “what if my child gets sick?” On the flip side, if your reality is that your child is relatively independent and perfectly happy to sit in front of the TV, that’s fine. Of course, you may not have any choice but to (try to) self-isolate if you or your children have preexisting conditions that would put them at risk. Again, to each family, their own.

“There is a difference between being reckless and making safe choices.”

Michelle Malloy

When it comes to how to isolate/quarantine/distance/mask/do-nothing if COVID arises in your home, there is no uniform answer. Thus we parents have to seek balance and recognize that risks are a part of life. And again, the potential mental health risks of COVID-prevention strategies in a home with small children are valid considerations. 

Some tips: 

• Abide by the strategy of “good-enough parenting,” and remember that the things we think of as our parenting failures sometimes turn out to be some of our children’s favorite memories (i.e., you may not be happy about limitless screen time, but do you really think your five-year-old is going to be upset about watching Sesame Street or Disney+ all day?);

• Regardless of what decisions you make about distancing/masking within your household and all the rest, focus on making sure you provide your children with LOVE and CLARITY, to the best that you are able;

• Communicate with your children — kids understand much more than we give them credit for, so just telling your kids what’s going on and why, in simple terms, and that it’s temporary, may alleviate any stress they have. You may be surprised at how far this simple honesty carries you. 

2. How am I supposed to handle the uncertainty of the whole thing? 

It’s unnerving not knowing what’s going to happen — and when your family’s health is on the line, Not Knowing What’s Going to Happen can be frankly terrifying. Especially because COVID can be so damn unpredictable. 

Here’s Michelle’s big piece of advice for getting through this: FOCUS ON TODAY. 

“There are so many unknowns in life,” she says. “We can choose to live in the future and worry, or we can choose to live in the present and accept that we don’t know.” It’s not healthy — or useful — to live in fear, Michelle adds, and we’re incapable of predicting the future (besides not generally being very good at it). So do whatever you can to stay in the now — whether that’s giving meditation a trial run, or chunking your day into pieces so you can just focus on one thing at a time, or coming up with a sort of mantra to repeat every time you find your mind wandering into the future — just stay the course as best you can. 

Friends — we so hope that you don’t need this… And that none of your friends or family need it either. But if you wind up here, or know someone else who does, we hope it offers some support and maybe even some solace. Others have been there, others have managed.

“I’m not glad we got it, but I’m glad we’re over it — and now we can move on with our lives.”

COVID stigma is real, and one way to combat it is simply to talk about it — so many thanks, again, to all of you out there who shared your experiences and made this entire article possible. 

The post So You Have COVID, Now What? appeared first on Lucie's List.

’21? For real? The number itself looks so bizarre. How did it get to be this year? Psssh. Who knows.

For this crazy new year, we’re zeroing in on our favorite things for self care… because we all need some right now. For real. Here’s to change .

Vuori Joggers ~ $84

A friend turned me onto these and I never want to take them off. Like, seriously — it’s a problem. So I ordered 2 more pairs

They are soft and not too heavy. They fit me in all the right places. Couple them with a new pair of sneaks (or actual running shoes) and you have yourself an instant athleisure makeover. ~Meg

(Also available directly from Vuori — get 15% off your first order.)

One Minute Journal ~ $15

The therapeutic power of writing is undeniable, but journaling doesn’t come naturally to everyone — nor does everyone have the time. Enter this one-minute journal with prompts to guide you. It’s as easy as it gets. ~Charlene

Minnetonka Lolo Leopard Slide Slipper ~ $45

My feet are obsessed with these… so I pretty much never take them off. Plus, they are so cozy and cute! ~ Marissa

Bridgerton, via Netflix

If Gossip Girl and Pride & Prejudice had a child, and it was raised by Shonda Rhimes… you would get Bridgerton. The series debuts as a period drama and a racy, sexy courting tale. We loved the diverse cast and sumptuous costumes; and though the dialogue was often unsubstantial, we couldn’t get enough. It’s addictive, and we can’t wait to see what season 2 brings. Also, the Duke ~ Charlene

Olly Women’s Multivitamins ~$15

The Olly multi delivers a daily dose of 18 essential nutrients, including B vitamins, antioxidants, vitamins D and C, and even Biotin (hello, luscious hair!). If, like me, you don’t like swallowing large pills, this multivitamin is a nice, more enjoyable alternative. I mean, you’re basically eating candy. ~ Charlene

Kindred Bravely Pajamas ~ $49

I still wear my Kindred Bravely pajama pants, years later (sans the nursing top). They are so comfortable, stretchy, and the fabric quality and cut can’t be beat. ~ Melissa

Psst: Kindred Bravely also just came out with a handsome new Bamboo Pajama Set ($69), which is temperature-regulating and cozy.

TLC Skin Care

Hannacure All-in-One Facial Set ~ $110

This mask will give you the wildest skincare experience of your life (you really have to go through it to understand — but if you need visuals, google “Hanacure and Drew Barrimore”). Plus, it will instantly give you glowing, brighter, tighter skin. ~ Charlene

Ice Face Roller ~ $22

This thing feels so refreshing, and it rolls away puff in minutes. ~Brit

The Everyday Oil ~ $22

This oil is a Jack of all trades. It cleanses, moisturizes, clarifies and heals. You can even use it on hair. Plus, it smells divine (with a blend of lavender, clary sage, Palo Santo and Geranium). ~Charlene

Revision Skincare DEJ Night Cream ~ $150

My derm friend, co-founder of the Skin Sisters, turned me on to this amazing night cream that packs in moisture, time-released Retinol and bakuchiol. After one year of use, my skin’s never looked better! ~ Marissa

Adora Rich Dark Chocolate Calcium Supplements ~ $12

My daughter is sensitive to milk, and we had a hard time getting her enough calcium until we found these. They’re actually made from chocolate — and they’re so good. ~ Anand, LL’s CTO

White Belgian Flax Linen Diamond Quilt & Sham ~$varies

I love this PB bed blanket so much that I bought one for every bed in my house! It’s heavy like a weighted blanket… warm in the winter and weirdly cool in the summer. Machine washable and comes in a ton of colors. ~ Melissa

If you’re looking for a “true” weighted blanket, there’s always the beloved Luna blanket, too.

Vessel Oracle Deck ~ $38

I love this deck of cards. Bright and whimsical, it represents various feelings and emotions that we go through daily. It’s a simple way to start the day: draw a card in the morning and set your intention for the day around it. ~ Charlene

What are you loving for self care this year? Please share your favorites for 2021 in the comments.

We see you out there, parents. Take good care!!

The post Love List, The Self Care Edition: New Year’s 2021 appeared first on Lucie's List.

For this Love List, we’re zeroing in on our favorite things to do and have around the kitchen for Winter Cooking. Just doubling down on being homebodies this holiday season!

Lodge Dutch Oven ~$69

A Dutch oven (I prefer 6qt) is a winter must-have. You can spend a fortune on Le Creuset, but this one from Lodge works just as well (trust me, I’ve tried them both!) ~ Meg

Pssst — if you’ve never used a Dutch oven before, here are some fantastic beginner recipes to get you started. (Or, there’s always the good-ol’ Crockpot, which is pretty much idiot-proof.)

Fellow Stagg EKG Pour-over Kettle ~$149

In short: the best damn kettle for the coffee-obsessed or tea enthusiast. ~ Charlene

Chef’s Planet Drain Clip ~$15

This strainer clips onto any size pot for easy straining. I use it on the regular — and it’s especially great for the colder months when we tend to do more cooked beans, veggies, etc. ~ Brit

Swissmar Raclette Grill ~$112

The perfect machine to bring some fun to your social distance winter hangouts with friends. Plus, raclette is so earthy, it will keep you warm all season long. ~ Charlene

Vacu Vin Wine Saver ~$12

For that rare case when there’s still some left at the end of the evening… a kitchen staple, IMO. ~ Brit

Yankee Candle Balsam & Cedar Jar ~$27

Everything is better when your house smells like a Christmas tree.~ Brit

Kids in the Kitchen

Wilton Cookie Cutter Set ~$16

This set of 101 cookie cutters (yes, that’s right, 101) comes with shapes, numbers, letters, and designs for every occasion.

Land O Lakes Classic Cocoa ~$13 (12 pack)

A sweet cup of nostalgia.

Swissmar Fondue Pot ~$99

Voted the top-rated fondue pot by multiple sources, this authentic Swiss set will make you feel like you’re in a bona fide Chalet. ~ Meg

Flavors of India ~$35

This beautiful Indian spice kit has everything you need for classic Indian cuisine — so comforting on these cool days.

Modern Comfort Food, by Ina Garten ~$21

The newest publication in the Barefoot Contessa series, this cookbook has the same gorgeous photography we know and expect from all the rest.

Also this: Pyrex Food Storage ~ $29

For all your leftovers… Safe for the fridge, freezer, microwave, dishwasher, and even your preheated oven (not the tops, duh).

And this: Chef’s Knife from Victorinox ~$35

This knife is such a great buy — it works as well as the high end ones but comes at a reasonable price point… a superb value for casual cooks.

And last but not least:

Covered Saute Pan… for Popcorn ~$29

Because when you’re having homemade popcorn, life is fun and cozy. Just as a rule. This deep-dish pan works perfect. ~ Brit

What are you using in your kitchen? Let us know in the comments section!

The post Love List, Kitchen Edition: Winter 2020 appeared first on Lucie's List.